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” So many of you, our awesome readers, and teen girls in general, are effing smart. Also, sometimes older dudes are just really attractive and we can admit that without having daddy problems! This should be simple, but people may behave immaturely if it’s been awhile since they’ve had to behave like an adult. Asking questions is the only way to get to know someone. The feeling may be real, or just a moment of inspiration. Make sure you all like (or at least can tolerate) each other. Discuss your values and views on life, so you can learn about the other person’s likes and dislikes, and what he or she believes in. Love that heats up too quickly usually flames out sooner than you might like. If you start to feel uncomfortable around someone, think twice about having a relationship. And encourage your date to tell you about himself or herself. Even if the person you are with gives you butterflies the size of jumbo jets, don’t let your heart run away with your brain. When you marry someone, you also get his or her family in the deal.But we can acknowledge the appeal of dating older dudes and still be grounded in a, perhaps harsh, reality at the same time: A relationship between a teen and an adult isn’t real. Duh, nobody is going to deny that feelings can’t be felt.I have no interest in sitting here and saying that your heart palpitations for an older guy you might be dating aren’t real. But when we’re talking about a relationship between a teenager and an adult who is significantly older–yeah, not just some 16-year-old dating an 18-year-old–there is often something weirdly fraudulent about it. You will learn a lot about your date, and it helps to see what you may be getting yourself into.

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